Stupid Stuff I See

Text of actual ticket submitted:

Two computers have been down recovering from a virus for apparently 3-ish weeks. I didn't know that computers were like people and needed downtime to work their stuff out, but apparently I was misinformed. These computers really need to be operational for quizzing and teaching purposes as a week is no big deal, but 3 is really starting to push it and hinder the various classes that use the room, mine included. Any help would be awesome, or just tell me that I can pour some chicken soup on the keyboard to fix it, put them out of their misery, or something.

Not sure if smart ass or... yeah, just smart ass.

Random Stupid

Some repeat offenders today.

Staff Caller "The computer says 'Dell'. That means it's a Mac right?" Yes, it was the same guy

Help Desk Guy: "Is your start button round or square?"
Student Caller (Chem Post-Doc) "It's round" wait for it... "No, wait. I guess it's square"

Student Ticket (paraphrasing): "I responding to phishing. Changing my password isn't enough. Please change my user ID so I don't have identity theft (yes, that was his exact words)"


badPwdCount 57 'nuff said about that one

Still Phishing

Another round of phishing. It seems to be a Monday thing, as we have a new round every Monday several weeks in a row. It all boils down to the same thing, tho. "click here to keep your account from being deactivated". Then all you have to do is enter your user ID and password on some random webpage and you are all set. I'm constantly surprised at the number of folks that fall for this sort of thing. If a random stranger asks you for your house or car keys, would you hand over your keys and point out which car/house is yours? If you did, you should not be surprised if your things get stolen. Actually, you can't call it theft at that point. It's a donation. So don't call me saying that your password was stolen. You gave it away, and likely compromised the entire network. Again. Thanks for your consideration. Also, you can't complain that your inbox is full of crap you didn't sent. In actuality, you did send it by giving a stranger your password.

What's my name?

Yes, I realize you are one of the more important folks in this organization, a big muckety-muck and all, but honestly. We have no idea what your personal email address is. We don't know your university password much less your personal one. Be a dear and keep up with that your self, OK Punkin? Thanks so much.

How would I know...

Staff Caller: "My supervisor just gave me access to a calendar but I can't open it"
Help Desk Guy: "What sort of trouble are you having?"
Staff Caller: "I clicked on Open a shared calendar, and nothing happened"
Held Desk Guy: "You need to put in the email address for the calendar that your supervisor gave you access to"
Staff Caller: "So what do I put in there?"
Help Desk Guy: "The email address for the calendar that you need to see"
Staff Caller: "So what do I put in there?"

Sigh.

Really? I never would have guessed

Waitress (while bringing us our food): "Hi, I'm Stacy and I'll be your server today"

To be fair, she told us that when she seated us, again when she brought coffee, and again when she took our order. I'm guessing blond roots. Maybe if she doesn't say her name enough she forgets what it is.

Let 'em off the apron strings. Please.

As the spring semester ends, new students are gearing up to join us in the fall. As a result we get a lot parents trying to get Little Johnny and Sweet Suzie's email accounts and student database access set up. The problem is... due to FERPA, we cannot give the parents any information about the student's account. We can give basics, like go to this website, click that link, these are the questions you will need answers to, that sort of thing, but when it comes to things like "what's Johnny's user ID" we cannot answer that. It leads to interesting comments:

Parent Caller: "I don't think my son is bright enough to do this on his own" Really, Mom? This is a techincal university ya know...

Parent Caller "I've never heard of gmail. What is that?" You live under a rock, right?

Parent Caller "If he does this on his own, then I won't know the password" So much for student privacy...

Parent Caller "I pay the tuition. I have a right to know." Argue that with the Dept. of Education

Parent Caller "She really doesn't know much about computers" Maybe this one and Bright Boy up there will get together.

Honorable Mention for Honesty Award
Help Desk guy: "This is really something the student will have to do. We need to be able to talk to him"
Parent Caller: "Well, the student is a lazy ass"

What is my web address?

Staff Caller: "I'm with DEPARTMENT. We are having pens printed and want our web address for DEPARTMENT printed on them. What is my department's web address?"

To make this even more interesting, the caller was one of two people in DEPARTMENT that works on DEPARTMENT'S website on a regular basis.

Help Desk Guy: "DEPARTMENT.UNIVERSITY.edu?"

Granted, Staff Caller had a dumb bunny on the phone that insisted that every web address MUST start with WWW, but still. You don't know your own department's web address?

On a side note, not every address on the web starts with WWW. If someone tells you a web address, you might just try typing it in as spoken. If the address contained WWW the speaker most likely would have mentioned them.

On an unrelated note, if you receive an email with a telephone number in it that you are to call for a teleconference, apparently it will function better if you dial the number as printed and not simply make up numbers to put in.

What department is this again?

If you call someone and they say something along the lines of "IT Help Desk. Can I help you?" you might guess that you are not calling the University's International Affairs Office. Don't get pissy with me if I don't happen to know who Amy is. She's not in my department, and there are over 1,000 users here. I don't know them all personally, and have no idea if "Amy" is in the office.

Note that having both the monitor and tower powered up is important to having a working computer.

Student Caller: "I'm having problems setting up my new email" Not how she said it, paraphrasing.
HelpDesk Guy: "Do you know your user ID?"
Student Caller: "No"
Help Desk Guy "How about your student number?
Student Caller: "No"
Help Desk Guy "The registrar might be able to help you if you know your Social Security Number"
Student Caller: "Wat's dat?" yes, that's how she said it.
Ah the joys of incoming freshmen. She prolly doesn't know her shapes either.

Yeah, we're psychic

Faculty Caller: " I have a broken computer in another office, can you fix it?"
Help Desk Guy: "What's it doing? Can you give me any information about the computer?"
Faculty Caller: " No. I guess I need to call from that office?"

Ya think?

Also, if a computer doesn't take your password, just press the same keys HARDER. It will make it work correctly for you. Same with the mouse. Bash the buttons really hard, it makes things go faster.

Know your shapes

User calls in with problems with her computer
Help Desk Guy: "What operating system are you using?"
Student Caller:"Um... I dunno, Windows I guess"
Help Desk Guy: "Do you know what version? Windows XP, Vista, 7?"
Student Caller: "Um... no?"
Help Desk Guy (not surprised, a lot of folks don't know that one) "Is your start button round or square?"
Student Caller: "Um.. I dunno. Squareish I guess?"

Really? Are you sure you are a college student? She was actually using Win7 by the way, so it was round.