Why did you even bother to call me...

Staff Caller: "I put in a request to have some work done on my computer.  You sent me an email asking some questions.  What do I need to do to get the work done"
Help Desk Guy looks up the ticket "Do you have the information we needed?"
Staff Caller : "No I will have to go get it.  Can I call you back?"

 Thanks for wasting my time...

Failure to plan on your part...

Staff caller: "I need this purchase entered in before the end of the fiscal year"
That just happens to be today.  At close of business.  Current time 2:15, and this is the 4th or 5th one of the day so far. How long did you know that the end of the fiscal year was today? Especially since it is the same date every year?

Failure to plan ahead on your part does not constitute an emergency on our part. 

Stupid stuff I say

Those that know me know that I have been accused of taking the drug Noassatol.  The average gnat has more butt than I do.  I say this to give some background on the stupid that occurred last night.  I got out of the shower and grabbed a pair of shorts.  I knew full well that they were the girlfriends shorts, but they were "men's" and they are comfortable.  They are a bit large for me, in the waist.  This is due to the fact that I have Noassatol, and has nothing to do with the girlfriend, who, like most girls, worry's about her weight and whether or not "this makes me look fat" (worst question any girl can ask any guy. ever.) So.  There I stand in baggy shorts. 

She says: "For someone who doesn't like shorts, you wear those a lot"
"Yeah, they are comfortable.  I'd like em better if they fit a bit better tho" my intent was actually "maybe I should get a pair in my size" but no, that's not what I said at all.  
She says "They don't fit because your girlfriend has a fat ass"
"I'm aware of that" sez I. the intent was "i'm aware they are your shorts, and I know that i have Noassatol.

/sigh.  I spent the rest of the evening trying to apologize for my stupid.  Goddess imma idiot.