Staff Caller: "I put in a request to have some work done on my computer. You sent me an email asking some questions. What do I need to do to get the work done"
Help Desk Guy looks up the ticket "Do you have the information we needed?"
Staff Caller : "No I will have to go get it. Can I call you back?"
Thanks for wasting my time...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Failure to plan on your part...
Staff caller: "I need this purchase entered in before the end of the fiscal year"
That just happens to be today. At close of business. Current time 2:15, and this is the 4th or 5th one of the day so far. How long did you know that the end of the fiscal year was today? Especially since it is the same date every year?
Failure to plan ahead on your part does not constitute an emergency on our part.
That just happens to be today. At close of business. Current time 2:15, and this is the 4th or 5th one of the day so far. How long did you know that the end of the fiscal year was today? Especially since it is the same date every year?
Failure to plan ahead on your part does not constitute an emergency on our part.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Stupid stuff I say
Those that know me know that I have been accused of taking the drug Noassatol. The average gnat has more butt than I do. I say this to give some background on the stupid that occurred last night. I got out of the shower and grabbed a pair of shorts. I knew full well that they were the girlfriends shorts, but they were "men's" and they are comfortable. They are a bit large for me, in the waist. This is due to the fact that I have Noassatol, and has nothing to do with the girlfriend, who, like most girls, worry's about her weight and whether or not "this makes me look fat" (worst question any girl can ask any guy. ever.) So. There I stand in baggy shorts.
She says: "For someone who doesn't like shorts, you wear those a lot"
"Yeah, they are comfortable. I'd like em better if they fit a bit better tho" my intent was actually "maybe I should get a pair in my size" but no, that's not what I said at all.
She says "They don't fit because your girlfriend has a fat ass"
"I'm aware of that" sez I. the intent was "i'm aware they are your shorts, and I know that i have Noassatol.
/sigh. I spent the rest of the evening trying to apologize for my stupid. Goddess imma idiot.
She says: "For someone who doesn't like shorts, you wear those a lot"
"Yeah, they are comfortable. I'd like em better if they fit a bit better tho" my intent was actually "maybe I should get a pair in my size" but no, that's not what I said at all.
She says "They don't fit because your girlfriend has a fat ass"
"I'm aware of that" sez I. the intent was "i'm aware they are your shorts, and I know that i have Noassatol.
/sigh. I spent the rest of the evening trying to apologize for my stupid. Goddess imma idiot.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
To unknown hacker...
If you happen to get access to an email that contains the final exam and answer key for something like say Physics, and you have not done all that well all semester, DO NOT be dumb enough to get a perfect score on the exam. Miss a few questions. Otherwise the staff of the physics department will know that someone has hacked their account, and will start an investigation. Moron.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Printer not working
Email from Student: "I have connection problem from my computer to the printer ( I mean that if I sent any document to the printer no printing response)"
Help Desk Guy checks the computer. There's no printer installed. I wonder if that could be why there's no response from the printer? Better yet, what is he doing that he thinks is printing 'cause it's sure not what I would call printing.
Help Desk Guy checks the computer. There's no printer installed. I wonder if that could be why there's no response from the printer? Better yet, what is he doing that he thinks is printing 'cause it's sure not what I would call printing.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Smells Phishy to me...
The following was sent to just students on a recently implemented "Cloud email server"
Attn User:
To verify your account, kindly reply to this mail with the required details below:
Username:
password:
Failure to comply your account will be
terminated.
EMAIL SUPPORT TEAM
One word was changed to protect the organization. The email was sent in plain text from an email address obviously outside of our organization. No less that 5 students replied to the email with their information. Are we sure this is a technical university?
Attn User:
To verify your account, kindly reply to this mail with the required details below:
Username:
password:
Failure to comply your account will be
terminated.
EMAIL SUPPORT TEAM
One word was changed to protect the organization. The email was sent in plain text from an email address obviously outside of our organization. No less that 5 students replied to the email with their information. Are we sure this is a technical university?
Friday, April 16, 2010
I has a stupid
If you are on your way to work in the morning, somewhat sleepy and in an allergy induced semi-haze, be sure and pay close attention to those RED-GREEN-YELLOW indicators at each and every block when driving through downtown. And if you happen to miss one, make sure that it's not a cop that's waiting to cross the intersection from the other direction. However, if you happen to do this, you might be lucky enough to find an officer that thought it was funny and not even write a warning. Thank you early morning officer that will never see this.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Are you sure you need a computer?
Staff Caller: "I have a thing that needs set up"
In the caller's defense, this was a while ago, and I forget exactly what the thing was that he needed. However, he didn't know what it was at the time that he called, just that he needed someone to come to this office to do it.
Help Desk Guy: "So we need to send someone to your office?"
Staff Caller: "Yes"
Help Desk Guy: "What is your user ID"
This takes much longer than expected, as we have to cycle through the various ID's that he uses for all sorts of non university things. After about 15 mintues, finally get something that my system recognises, but there's no office address listed. It's not a huge campus, but big enough that you need building and room number for the Techs to be able to find the people.
Help Desk Guy: "Where is your office?"
Staff Caller: "In the Student Union Building" No, we don't call it that, but that's essentially what it is. Big building, 3 floors, cafeteria, book store, conference rooms, offices, etc.
Help Desk Guy:"What room number?"
Staff Caller: "I don't know"
Help Desk Guy: "That's a pretty big building, is there any way to find out the room number"
Staff Caller: "I don't know what it is"
Help Desk Guy "So where do I tell the technician to go so that he can find you?"
Staff Caller: "To my office"
Help Desk Guy: "Which is where?"
Staff Caller: "Student Union Building"
Does this remind anyone else of the very first computer program you might have written that is something like:
10 Write "Hello World"
20 Goto 10
In the caller's defense, this was a while ago, and I forget exactly what the thing was that he needed. However, he didn't know what it was at the time that he called, just that he needed someone to come to this office to do it.
Help Desk Guy: "So we need to send someone to your office?"
Staff Caller: "Yes"
Help Desk Guy: "What is your user ID"
This takes much longer than expected, as we have to cycle through the various ID's that he uses for all sorts of non university things. After about 15 mintues, finally get something that my system recognises, but there's no office address listed. It's not a huge campus, but big enough that you need building and room number for the Techs to be able to find the people.
Help Desk Guy: "Where is your office?"
Staff Caller: "In the Student Union Building" No, we don't call it that, but that's essentially what it is. Big building, 3 floors, cafeteria, book store, conference rooms, offices, etc.
Help Desk Guy:"What room number?"
Staff Caller: "I don't know"
Help Desk Guy: "That's a pretty big building, is there any way to find out the room number"
Staff Caller: "I don't know what it is"
Help Desk Guy "So where do I tell the technician to go so that he can find you?"
Staff Caller: "To my office"
Help Desk Guy: "Which is where?"
Staff Caller: "Student Union Building"
Does this remind anyone else of the very first computer program you might have written that is something like:
10 Write "Hello World"
20 Goto 10
Friday, April 9, 2010
Yeah, you need to turn it on...
Staff Caller: "I can't see my inbox when I open Outlook. All I get is the reminders"
Help Desk Guy remote connects to callers computer to look, and can see the Outlook Window open on the second monitor. Chats with the customer trying to determine with it is she cannot see, and has no clue yet.
Staff Caller: "There's usually a box with all my messages in it"
Help Desk Guy: "You mean this window on your second monitor"
Staff Caller: "Oh, I turned the second monitor off"
And we wonder why Roy is so cranky....
Help Desk Guy remote connects to callers computer to look, and can see the Outlook Window open on the second monitor. Chats with the customer trying to determine with it is she cannot see, and has no clue yet.
Staff Caller: "There's usually a box with all my messages in it"
Help Desk Guy: "You mean this window on your second monitor"
Staff Caller: "Oh, I turned the second monitor off"
And we wonder why Roy is so cranky....
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Seems like a dumb question to me...
Staff Caller: "I need some network file storage set up for a project I'm working on. How much space do I need?"
Help Desk Guy: How should I know how much you need? "What will you be storing?"
Staff Caller "I don't know. Stuff"
To make this more interesting, "Staff Caller" used to be "Help Desk person" about 2 years ago. One would think that this person would know a little something about storage requirements?
Help Desk Guy: How should I know how much you need? "What will you be storing?"
Staff Caller "I don't know. Stuff"
To make this more interesting, "Staff Caller" used to be "Help Desk person" about 2 years ago. One would think that this person would know a little something about storage requirements?
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