To unknown hacker...

If you happen to get access to an email that contains the final exam and answer key for something like say Physics, and you have not done all that well all semester, DO NOT be dumb enough to get a perfect score on the exam.  Miss a few questions.  Otherwise the staff of the physics department will know that someone has hacked their account, and will start an investigation.  Moron.

Printer not working

Email from Student: "I have connection problem from my computer to the printer ( I mean  that if I sent any document to the printer no printing response)"

 Help Desk Guy checks the computer.  There's no printer installed.  I wonder if that could be why there's no response from the printer?  Better yet, what is he doing that he thinks is printing 'cause it's sure not what I would call printing.

Smells Phishy to me...

The following was sent to just students on a recently implemented "Cloud email server"

Attn User:

  To verify your account, kindly reply to this mail with the required details below:

Username:
password:

Failure to comply your account will be
terminated.

EMAIL SUPPORT TEAM

One word was changed to protect the organization.  The email was sent in plain text from an email address obviously outside of our organization.  No less that 5 students replied to the email with their information.  Are we sure this is a technical university?

I has a stupid

If you are on your way to work in the morning, somewhat sleepy and in an allergy induced semi-haze, be sure and pay close attention to those RED-GREEN-YELLOW indicators at each and every block when driving through downtown.  And if you happen to miss one, make sure that it's not a cop that's waiting to cross the intersection from the other direction.  However, if you happen to do this, you might be lucky enough to find an officer that thought it was funny and not even write a warning.  Thank you early morning officer that will never see this.

Are you sure you need a computer?

Staff Caller: "I have a thing that needs set up"
In the caller's defense, this was a while ago, and I forget exactly what the thing was that he needed.  However, he didn't know what it was at the time that he called, just that he needed someone to come to this office to do it.
Help Desk Guy: "So we need to send someone to your office?"
Staff Caller: "Yes"
Help Desk Guy: "What is your user ID"
This takes much longer than expected, as we have to cycle through the various ID's that he uses for all sorts of non university things. After about 15 mintues, finally get something that my system recognises, but there's no office address listed.  It's not a huge campus, but big enough that you need building and room number for the Techs to be able to find the people.
Help Desk Guy: "Where is your office?"
Staff Caller: "In the Student Union Building" No, we don't call it that, but that's essentially what it is.  Big building, 3 floors, cafeteria, book store, conference rooms, offices, etc.
Help Desk Guy:"What room number?"
Staff Caller: "I don't know"
Help Desk Guy: "That's a pretty big building, is there any way to find out the room number"
Staff Caller: "I don't know what it is"
Help Desk Guy "So where do I tell the technician to go so that he can find you?"
Staff Caller: "To my office"
Help Desk Guy: "Which is where?"
Staff Caller: "Student Union Building"

Does this remind anyone else of the very first computer program you might have written that is something like:

10 Write "Hello World"
20 Goto 10
 




 

Yeah, you need to turn it on...

Staff Caller: "I can't see my inbox when I open Outlook.  All I get is the reminders"
Help Desk Guy remote connects to callers computer to look, and can see the Outlook Window open on the second monitor. Chats with the customer trying to determine with it is she cannot see, and has no clue yet.
Staff Caller: "There's usually a box with all my messages in it"
Help Desk Guy: "You mean this window on your second monitor"
Staff Caller: "Oh, I turned the second monitor off"

And we wonder why Roy is so cranky....

Seems like a dumb question to me...

Staff Caller: "I need some network file storage set up for a project I'm working on.  How much space do I need?"
Help Desk Guy: How should I know how much you need? "What will you be storing?"
Staff Caller "I don't know.  Stuff"


To make this more interesting, "Staff Caller" used to be "Help Desk person" about 2 years ago.  One would think that this person would know a little something about storage requirements?

Random stupid

Apparently you can pass a bill in Congress without actually voting on the bill by using some legislative "trick"

Under this tactic, the House could simultaneously approve the Senate version of the bill while voting on the package of changes. This would "deem" the Senate bill passed, though not directly show members voting in favor of passage.

Full Article: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/03/16/pelosi-plan-pass-health-care-traditional-vote-riles-critics/

Yeah, I know.  It's Fox and some don't like it.  You can find it elsewhere too.

Apparently you cannot take a wireless mouse on an airplane anymore:  http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm

Staff Caller: "I'm sending email to this distribution list and no one is getting the email"
Help Desk Guy "Are you sure you are sending to the correct list name?"
Staff Caller: "Absolutely"  Gives list name, Help Desk Guy looks into it.  3 members of the given list name
Staff Caller: "That's not right, there should be about 80 members"
Help Desk Guy: "You are sure you have the right list?"
Staff Caller: "Yes"
Help Desk Guy checks with Applications Guy who maintains the lists.  
Apps Guy "She's sending to the wrong list"

I have no response to that...

There was a power outage in the one of the buildings over a recent weekend.  When that happens we normally expect some power supplies to fail, particularly with one model of computer we have (mostly phased out now, thankfully) The early Monday morning Help Desk Guy is now prepared for "my computer will not turn on" calls, so there's no surprise that the first call of the day starts with...

Faculty Caller: "My computer is not working"
Help Desk Guy: "What's it doing?"
Faculty Caller: "Nothing the screen is black"
Help Desk Guy: "Did you try turning it back on after the power outage?"
Faculty Caller: "There was a power outage?"
Help Desk Guy: "Yes, it was planned, Facilities sent out several emails about it last week"
Faculty Caller: "Why do I have to turn it back on?"
Help Desk Guy: uh... buh... *brain lock*

Why...

Faculty Caller: " I have a Gateway2000 computer at home, running Windows 2000. It takes a long time to boot up. Any idea why?"
Help Desk Guy: "..."

Caller has a PhD in Physics...